Something About Us

I've always had a strong idea of the sexual aspect in my mind. Like hunger, breathing, and other involuntary neurological phenomena, it's just sort of there. Not necessarily out of mind's controlling grasp, but subconscious in nature nonetheless. For whatever reason, I'm one of those people who had an early idea of what the organ located in my nether-region is capable of.

Essentially, I've been on the perverted side for almost the bulk of my existence. In this day and age where we have modern conveniences such as various forms of birth control and STD prevention, I feel that society as a whole needs to move on from its past prudish ways and embrace the fact that our bodies can do MIRACULOUS things. I make no apologies for stating that the orgasm is the most awe inspiring event that our nervous system is capable of. Even if we somehow evolve to manipulate atoms, the very building block of all reality, and essentially become Gods? That big O takes not only the cake, but the entire f**king strip mall the bakery is located in.

People are sexual creatures. Whether socially or only with themselves, all humans were designed to have and love the shit out of sex. It's a universal concept that countless lives have devoted themselves to breaking. For what purpose someone would choose to deprive themselves of the most basic and wonderful pleasure in life, I'm not sure. I guess they took their masochistic sides out on their penises (or vaginas). A fruitless battle of will in my eyes, however I am accepting of the idea that people derive pleasure from various forms of torture. A lifelong game of "no coming" sounds pretty heinous to me.

Akin to the different colours of the light spectrum, different people get off to different things. The realm of the various fetishes people find themselves into is among the most fascinating topics of human psychology. Compared to around 99% or so of the internet, I would say my tastes are almost vanilla and mainstream. Dita Von Teese once spoke of a fan who wrote to her proclaiming their fetish of proper, high elite females littering. That'd be some pretty obscure erotica.

No, what gets my rocks off is well supplied and forever in demand. It's men. I am a dude who

gets excited in ALL capacities about other dudes. For various reasons that makes a lot of people retardedly uncomfortable. It isn't really the norm, nor necessarily that rare either. Men have had sexual relations with each other pretty much since the dawn of time. I tend to draw strength from other men instead of women. Not to put down the fairer sex in any respect, they're simply not my cup of tea as far as my c**k and empowerment are concerned.

I enjoy interacting with men, because I feel as if I can engage my entire persona with them. I'm permitted to be brutally honest and not have to tip-toe around too many feelings. Not to say I or other males are without emotions, but it's from my own personal observation that men eventually get a better handle of them compared to women.

I'm also permitted in my mind to be as filthy, raunchy, angry and violent as I want with other guys. With girls, I always had a sort of "mental block" from sexualizing them. Women, children, animals, and inorganic matter are there to interact with and learn from in countless ways; Except in sex. Ironically like violence; Though I'm not above beating the shit out of furniture when I'm enraged.

I can completely align myself and mentally sync with other males. That's basically what true devotion and love comes down to, I believe. Complete and total comfort in each other to unionize as one. Everyone loves sex, yes. I used to get insanely jealous when I heard of others' sexcapades. However, love itself is what I really end up eNVying.

Work It, Make It, Do It, Makes Us

Yesterday in my previous entry I discussed my aspirations for success in the one aspect of life I've always been obsessed with. One aspect of the world that will forever hold my interest and fascination. There's a plethora of labels to be utilized that give it a personal "punch", but I refer to the source of all evil simply as "Green".

My current relationship with Green is a tumultuous one at best. I tend to burn through my supplies of Green on a fairly quickly basis, though I have a f*&king fantastic time while doing so. That stated, I am starting to get a handle on the concept that good things come to those who wait. Good things like an all but paid for lifetime vacation some would refer to as "early retirement". No work schedule, no superior [or better yet dealer] to answer to, no need to stress over getting that next direct injection into the bank account.

A literal cure-all for the hardcore Green addict. Let me be clear, Green and the handling of it can be treated in many different ways, as there are many different people. As expected, some people will turn everything that elicits a positive response into an addiction, and spending Green just happens to feel fan-f**king-tastic. As a self-proclaimed addict to all things good and wonderful, I've fallen prey to my own demonic obsession with mulah. Luckily, as a 22-year old coming from a family with their own personal money demons [thus less willing to just give me any like some (stupid but awfully generous!) folks do], my consequences have been less dire than others. There's not much damage to be done to a bank account if there was never any substantial amount in there to begin with.

I can boast that I am without debt, which in this country's culture of Green worship is in

fact a notable claim. I currently slave myself out to the retail industry to receive my bi-weekly dose of dinero, which granted aren't the best dosages out there but for what I need, they work. For what I want is a different story. In order to achieve what I desire in my financial region of life, I have to start really observing the art of self-discipline. If that means I eat in around 95% of the time, if that means I can't attend every show and concert within driving distance, alright. If that means having to wait to buy all the toys and candy in the candy store, then I suppose I concede.

Make no mistake, I only concede to get what's mine. If what I desire for some unforeseeable reason is out of reach in my current lifetime, then I will have just proven how I can adapt to different lifestyles, do the Darwin and survive. I've accepted the possibility of never attaining a lofty sum of wealth.

...and just because it's a possibility, doesn't mean it's real. >=) In the end I will be one to eNVy.

One Big Room; Full of Bad Bitches

As author of this inconspicuous solitary blog I feel it is appropriate to introduce myself.

My name is Colin, and I hail from the internationally renowned resort and casino saturated City of Sin, the self-billed "Entertainment Capital of the World", the working professional's urban representation of decadence, debauchery, social anarchism. The place in question I'm talking about is none other than Las Vegas, Nevada. I feel it is almost my cosmic duty to possess a strong sense of hometown pride for my city as it is a widely misunderstood place; In not only the US but the world over.

I'm currently 22 years young, and just attempting to find my footing in the real world. I'm not exactly sure what it is I want to do for a living, but I can't identify myself as someone who seeks validation from a title or a salary number. Make no mistake, I intend to have success in my

financial realm but the most important thing I want to focus on is having a full, rich and happy life while I make my success. I wish to be emotionally, physically, sexually, and spiritually rich while I climb my way up the socio-economic food chain. I want to be someone who always goes after and gets what he wants, while loving the grind at the same time. I want to be eNVied by people who don't push themselves as hard as they could. I expect a great deal out of myself when I try, and I wish for that to motivate me instead of hold me back like it has before.

Throughout the entire duration of my life I have turned to and used music to hold on to past memories and ideas, while the beats, rhythms, melodies, and the countless other aspects of music have helped create new memories and harness my ongoing thoughts. While I manage this blog during the unforeseeable time-frame in which I do so, I will be posting youtube links to my song of the moment/day/week etc so hopefully you readers will be able to somewhat get a feel for what my current mental aesthetic is.

Lately I've been listening to hip hop and its various spin-off genres in appreciation of their brutally honest lyrics and confrontational beats. Today I'm especially enjoying "Gucci Gucci" by an artist named kreayshawn, a song brought to my attention through my cousin Budda. I adore how she drops luxury name brands to capture everyone's superficial and shallow side, only to mock them and exclaim that with the right attitude and confidence (swag), you don't need to dress to impress. Take a listen. And don't be a stranger to this blog. =)